Ok so I have a lot from my past to forgive...my not being able to forget seems at times to make it so hard to keep it forgave lol know what I mean...I'm sure you don't I'm sure I'm the only one out there that can harbor a grudge...whatever that is such hogwash we all have a hard time with this. I think it is one of the reasons it is talked about so often in the bible..
My husband and I have been doing this book called the Love Dare..AMAZING! We just have been so moved and strengthened even more by reading it. It touches on not only your marriage love and relationship but all forms of love and relationships.
Forgiveness was a very recent chapter. It is also something I read about recently in the Duggars 20 and counting book. He said something so amazing to me. He said "forgive before that person even asks for it and do something nice for them even. It will make it easier on you to forget and to not harbor bitterness. Who knows maybe your kind act will be the one thing to set them free or to bring them that much closer to salvation." BOY THAT IS HARD THERE JIM BOB!!! But ya know what it is complete TRUTH! I have been so humbled lately but reading their book and by the love dare. It get's easy at times to start thinking we know a little something but hey we really just DON'T!
So their are four people in my past three of which I have to deal with on a rather regular basis that have hurt me or my husband and in turn that hurts me so deeply that it truly just haunted me and was making me become a bitter bitter person! I am not that person I have always been loving and gentle and wanted the best for others. But these people well first off they are the type that NEVER say sorry and it is ALWAYS my fault or my husbands fault. They just can't take responsibilty for their own wrongs ya know what I mean. Yet as I read about forgiveness it was sayiing when you truly forgive and let go you will feel sorrow for those people and see that they must have brokeness in themselves to be and do the things they do and that you will be able to start praying for them instead of well hating them. So that is what I am doing. I have chosen to 100% forgive all from my past especially those four and to hence forth pray for them. That they might be saved or return to the Lord if they ever truly knew him before. I will pray that they will be able to be made whole and not suffer a fate of never knowing the comfort of having a God that loves them and wants to hold them and to lead them down paths of joy! Because by doing that it will be me practicing forgiveness and I know that God will be faithful and oventually I will feel that forgiveness and won't feel bitterness and won't have a part of my mind that says "grrr I'd just love to smack him or her or man they don't deserve this pray or joy" because fokes bottom line is we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. In every day talk aint none of us perfect buddy and we want God to forgive us so we best get to forgiving others.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Kick off day and not much luck lol
Sooooo it is my official kick off day to a better me and school. School we've done great Mak can officially tell me A says a like ape and a like apple and E says e like eagle and egg. She has written them and finally has mastered lower case a. She has done her 30 minutes of violin practice, she has watched and aggriculture *can't spell to save my life* she is staying inside the lines even. We also have had a biblical studies and application lesson. We even had a cooking lesson. So yes yes school today has been quite a success!
As far as eating more healthy I have been doing so much better about not over eating and I am paying attention to what I am eating and why. Alas the exercise is hmmm shall we say a wee bit harder to get started. I keep trying to push myself and keep thinking oh I'll just start tomorrow! I just keep putting tomorrow off. It is soooo hard to bring myself to get up earlier then all when I am so very tired from waking to nurse so often at night still. I know it is no excuse many out there do it....I think maybe I am lazy lol.. It is hard to feel motivated to exercise when Myk *the hubs* is always telling me how beautiful I am and how I am perfect. *HAHAHAHA I am SO not* but it is nice to hear him say it none the less and to know that if I don't change he'll still love me all the same.
Yet I do NOT love me just the same I think is the main problem. I look at my arms and tummy and think BLAR lol and then I'll see pics of my legs and I think DOUBLE BLAR yet again he says how beautiful they are and I am....it's hard for me to mix the two together. LOL this is now turning into wow my hubby is great blog....but seriously his sweetness does make it hard to want to work out.. Let's face it exercise IS HORRID lol it truly is. I know I need to though it will make me healthier.
Ok new subject again. Let me just tell you that I LOVE the Duggers! I am reading their book right now and find myself crying most every other page. Their faith and strength amazes me. They always find time to stop and pray and BELIEVE fully that not only does God hear those prayers he cares very much about them. He has rewarded them so often with answeres to their prayers and even though much of their life has been hard work and sacrifice he has blessed them many times over now. They adore their children much like most of us and they are unafraid to say so! It makes me feel proud to be a mom and do desire more children. I have four of the most wonderful beautiful chilren you will ever meet by the way.. They are my life my love my happiness lol :) Yet we have learned an awesome lesson from the Duggars lately that I think I at times have missed the mark on Jesus first Others second Yourself last then you shall have such JOY!!! It is true it really is. I have been applying this to my life since I read it only 3 days ago now and it is making a HUGE difference in our family. Even my husband who tends to be more the quite one has been speaking out on his faith infront of the kids and when they fight or disobey he reminds them to "remember JOY jesus, others, yourself" I think I am going to write the Duggars again and tell them just how much that one life rule has impacted us....
Ok look for further posts later this week on life, exercise, school, and the Carters reading the Duggars lol!
As far as eating more healthy I have been doing so much better about not over eating and I am paying attention to what I am eating and why. Alas the exercise is hmmm shall we say a wee bit harder to get started. I keep trying to push myself and keep thinking oh I'll just start tomorrow! I just keep putting tomorrow off. It is soooo hard to bring myself to get up earlier then all when I am so very tired from waking to nurse so often at night still. I know it is no excuse many out there do it....I think maybe I am lazy lol.. It is hard to feel motivated to exercise when Myk *the hubs* is always telling me how beautiful I am and how I am perfect. *HAHAHAHA I am SO not* but it is nice to hear him say it none the less and to know that if I don't change he'll still love me all the same.
Yet I do NOT love me just the same I think is the main problem. I look at my arms and tummy and think BLAR lol and then I'll see pics of my legs and I think DOUBLE BLAR yet again he says how beautiful they are and I am....it's hard for me to mix the two together. LOL this is now turning into wow my hubby is great blog....but seriously his sweetness does make it hard to want to work out.. Let's face it exercise IS HORRID lol it truly is. I know I need to though it will make me healthier.
Ok new subject again. Let me just tell you that I LOVE the Duggers! I am reading their book right now and find myself crying most every other page. Their faith and strength amazes me. They always find time to stop and pray and BELIEVE fully that not only does God hear those prayers he cares very much about them. He has rewarded them so often with answeres to their prayers and even though much of their life has been hard work and sacrifice he has blessed them many times over now. They adore their children much like most of us and they are unafraid to say so! It makes me feel proud to be a mom and do desire more children. I have four of the most wonderful beautiful chilren you will ever meet by the way.. They are my life my love my happiness lol :) Yet we have learned an awesome lesson from the Duggars lately that I think I at times have missed the mark on Jesus first Others second Yourself last then you shall have such JOY!!! It is true it really is. I have been applying this to my life since I read it only 3 days ago now and it is making a HUGE difference in our family. Even my husband who tends to be more the quite one has been speaking out on his faith infront of the kids and when they fight or disobey he reminds them to "remember JOY jesus, others, yourself" I think I am going to write the Duggars again and tell them just how much that one life rule has impacted us....
Ok look for further posts later this week on life, exercise, school, and the Carters reading the Duggars lol!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Weight, health, and such things oh and Julia
Ok so all know I'm not the worlds best at this blogging thing. Let's face it I truly don't have much time on my hands to breath let alone blog. My four beautiful children and my husband are my everything. Not to mention I have a great parents, a brother his wife and two nieces, and my in laws that I love to see as often as I can. I have realized lately though that I have not been taking care of myself very well. I'm so busy thinking about everything and everyone else that I forget myself. I never ever excersise and lately because of stress and worry I've been eating like a full on cow! I didn't see it or since even how much weight I was putting on until I saw a picture of myself my sweet Hubby took recently! Oh my gosh all I could say was um I a big old whale of a women! It seriosly made me cry! Soooo what to do what to do...
Let me just say first I saw Juila & Juile last night with my sister in law Lyndsey. The young girl who loved Juila Child so much well she was turing 30 just like I did this year. She realized that she had never finished anything and was always running around hiding from anything real. She loved to cook which by the way so do I. She loved to eat and apparently so do I lol hence the reason I'm so gal durn FAT these days LOL. Ya know though I could truly relate to her. I have always given up on things and especially myself way to easy. Julie has given me a great great idea and challange for myself! Eat healthy and exercise every day for a year and blog about it. I figure heck if I have this as something I know I have to write about each day I will do it..
See if it were just my looks I'd not care God made us all different. It is the fact that my Dad has acid reflux and it just about killed him. I DO NOT want to ever go through what he did and one sure fire way to not is to loose at least a good 20 lbs off my tum. I never ever have problems yet since I've put on a bit around the middle here lately my tum has been given me a little bit of a kick grrrr. I have decided I WIN though because I CAN control this issue! I AM strong enough to do this and I WILL....
Like I said in the begining I have four children and I want to be here to see and play with their children not be all hobling along to fat to play or to sick to play. What if I were decide I wanted more. I want to be healthier! I do not have a weight goal just a health and how I feel goal. So jump on board if you so wish. Take this challange with me even! Let's write together be each others coaches and motivators and help mates! You strangers in the bloggin world lol bond and befriend and eat healthy and excercise for a year! Heck I figure if I can do this for a year I will be able to do it for life! Yet sorry sorry as much as I am sure all just LOVE to read my silly rambling really truly a diary of sorts I will do this part for a year only. I'm sure it will be great to look back on and see how far I can come. I must admit even I could just loose 20 lbs I will feel so much better about myself!
Hold on to your hats ladies and gents here I come I CAN and I WILL do this for me and no one else!! I will be good to myself and keep myself healthy because God gave me this life and I intend to live it well!
Let me just say first I saw Juila & Juile last night with my sister in law Lyndsey. The young girl who loved Juila Child so much well she was turing 30 just like I did this year. She realized that she had never finished anything and was always running around hiding from anything real. She loved to cook which by the way so do I. She loved to eat and apparently so do I lol hence the reason I'm so gal durn FAT these days LOL. Ya know though I could truly relate to her. I have always given up on things and especially myself way to easy. Julie has given me a great great idea and challange for myself! Eat healthy and exercise every day for a year and blog about it. I figure heck if I have this as something I know I have to write about each day I will do it..
See if it were just my looks I'd not care God made us all different. It is the fact that my Dad has acid reflux and it just about killed him. I DO NOT want to ever go through what he did and one sure fire way to not is to loose at least a good 20 lbs off my tum. I never ever have problems yet since I've put on a bit around the middle here lately my tum has been given me a little bit of a kick grrrr. I have decided I WIN though because I CAN control this issue! I AM strong enough to do this and I WILL....
Like I said in the begining I have four children and I want to be here to see and play with their children not be all hobling along to fat to play or to sick to play. What if I were decide I wanted more. I want to be healthier! I do not have a weight goal just a health and how I feel goal. So jump on board if you so wish. Take this challange with me even! Let's write together be each others coaches and motivators and help mates! You strangers in the bloggin world lol bond and befriend and eat healthy and excercise for a year! Heck I figure if I can do this for a year I will be able to do it for life! Yet sorry sorry as much as I am sure all just LOVE to read my silly rambling really truly a diary of sorts I will do this part for a year only. I'm sure it will be great to look back on and see how far I can come. I must admit even I could just loose 20 lbs I will feel so much better about myself!
Hold on to your hats ladies and gents here I come I CAN and I WILL do this for me and no one else!! I will be good to myself and keep myself healthy because God gave me this life and I intend to live it well!
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